4 ways to resolve conflicts

Whether between partners, friends, family, colleagues, till two friendly people are not without disagreements. And if you get into a fight, it's important to fight well. The key? Never leave an unresolved discussion - inconclusive arguments can affect you physically and emotionally. "Discussing increases stress hormones cortisol," says Laurie Puhn, author of Fight Less, Love More. "Research shows that high levels of stress hormones increase our stomach problems, headaches and cardiac complications." How can you then have a 'healthy fight?' According to Puhn, "the fights are normal and healthy if done correctly and if both individuals can reach a solution together. " The goal of every fight should be to establish the differences and recognize the other person's point and agree together. The point of the discussion should not be "win," but to prevent it happening again. "To make comments like 'you should not have done that' or 'You're wrong' is to fight about the past, things that can not be changed.

Resolves an issue in four simple steps:

1. ​​Take a break from the fight

2. Ask neutral questions for both sides of the story

3. Summarize what was said 4. Works to a solution

4 Stages of conflict

Solve your fights, your partner. The ideal is to break the pattern of fighting and focus on the problem at hand. "Let's say your partner spent money not tell you. The first thing to do, instead of shouting, is to sit with him and talk about what happened," advises Puhn. After trying to determine why your partner behaves in this way. Do you fear your reaction? Was it an oversight? It is necessary to discover whether it was a misunderstanding, and repeated listening to the answers to your partner. "Spending money on a new phone because yours was broken and needed to work." So it is important to reach an agreement that any costs to pass a certain amount is necessary to consult, so avoid repeating the same fight.

Your child. In a fight with a child as a parent Puhn recommended that you stay as the authority figure . "Let's say your child does not meet your arrival time. Before you start screaming, you should ask what happened," advises Puhn. Play detective and ask questions, why is late - could be an oversight or that her friend would not let her go or other matter outside its control. You can include your child in the solution. "Ask 'how this might work better?'. They can reach an agreement to call if you know it is late, but the final decision should be the father.

Your partner. In a fight with a boss or colleague understand the root of the problem will be key. "Imagine you offered a presentation and were not as prepared as previously thought. Attend to what your boss says and asks for you to understand what went wrong, "says Puhn. Both can find a solution for the future. Perhaps you can suggest that the day before the check together the presentation for your boss know you're ready.

Your neighbor. do not know why your neighbor is annoying, if your tree is because it leaves many leaves in your entry or because it prevents sunlight receive flowers. Ask the reason for your complaint. Once you understand their point can reach a solution together. No matter who you fight, these four steps will help you reach a healthy conclusion to your differences. It is important to remember that a healthy relationship means that there is no fight or conflict with, but know how to fix them.