Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Let's talk about sex: Should teens have sex?

If you ask me that question directly, I would say no. Maybe I would understand better if I were to ask the following: Should a person do something if you can not responsibly accept the consequences? Do you have the right to bring a child into the world, without providing the necessary conditions for their development?

A teenager is not ready to have children. Not have the financial means to maintain it. It has the necessary maturity to be a father. Even her body is ready for this. However, most of our mothers are teenagers. What to do, how to face this fact so disturbing?

Prohibit, punish and threaten, is what many well-meaning parents have done for years. Would you have done some good? I think not. The rate remains very high, not only in our country. If you take that attitude, not only will fail in its purpose, but also will close the possibility of good communication with your daughter or son (though many still think that the children of teenage pregnancy are just women, of mothers).

What to do?

1.) Start by sexually educate yourself so we can do the same with their children. Read books, go to workshops, read this column, and so on.

2.)Talk about sex with their children naturally before. Insist that the school provide sex education. Not a little talk from time to time with a doctor or counselor, which are often very confused their own sexuality, or are full of taboos. Require a sexologist, review the objectives, the teaching method, etc.. Very expensive are some schools in this country, not to cover this important part of education, Especially in times of AIDS! I think this is irresponsible, we are playing with fire.

3.) Maintain excellent communication with them. Listen to them, respect them. Give them lots of love. Many teenagers go behind affection, not sex, to bed.

4.) The hardest part is what I recommend now: If nevertheless, your daughter or son says he wants to have sex, find a good method of contraception for both the female and for the male. In times of AIDS condoms is essential, but not enough to prevent pregnancy.
I know many people think I'm promoting sex. Not true. Also do not need quite so ago television, film, etc. What happens is that I worked for over ten years with teenagers, and I know that when they have sex on nothing and no one stops them, or AIDS has been unsuccessful. What to do, deny reality (what they have done for years parents, the Church, etc..)? Me of being childish, not facing such a problem?

Me of leaving our children alone and bewildered, in this very important aspect of their lives? To continue to act well, we would be so irresponsible (although I think more) as pregnant teens, and they get pregnant. They have the excuse of inexperience, confusion and lack of control. HAVE YOU SEEK TO EXCUSE FOR CONSCIOUSNESS?. I do not judge anyone, no parent wants something bad for their children ... Ultimately they are the ones who suffer the consequences of all this!

Dr. Nancy Alvarez
PhD in clinical psychology, with expertise in couples and family therapy sexology

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